MODEL: Thanks again for hiring me for this shoot! I'm so excited… This is my first big modeling job!
PHOTOGRAPHER: Of course, I'm glad you agreed to do it! Being a slapstick model is a bit of a specialized job…
M: Hmm, hang on… Did you say "slapstick model"? What's that??
P: Well, you're recreating scenes from classic slapstick comedies, like The 3 Stooges or I Love Lucy.
M: And what are all those pies doing here?
P: Well, most of all these scenes involve the protagonist getting hit with pies in the face.
M: Wait a minute… Are you serious? You REALLY want me to stand here and get pied?
P: Yeah, basically, that's what we're paying you for!
M: That's crazy! Am I supposed to just say, "Hey guys, hit me in the face with a pie"? [gets pied]
P: Well, I guess that would work.
M: Look, no way! If you think I'm gonna STAND here and recreate some SILLY TV show… [gets it again]
P: That's what the audience wants to see.
M: You know, that's what I'm talking about! It's STUPID people like that who watch STUPID shows like those… [and yet again]
P: You gotta admit, it IS funny.
M: No I don't! This is NOT funny! This is not… [gets it again in mid-stream]
P: You know, it's funnier if you do it yourself. [hands her a pie]
M: Are you sure??
P: The harder you hit yourself, the funnier it becomes.
M: Fine. [pies herself] Yeah, you know what? You may be right… Let me try that one more time… [pies herself again, looks around at PHOTOGRAPHER] Okay, I guess this IS kinda funny. But it would be a LOT more realistic if you used real pies.
P: You mean like this one? [pies her with a real one]
M: Yeah, see? THAT'S some funny stuff! Boy, you've got a lot to learn! Look, what if you hit me on either side at the same time? Wouldn't THAT be twice as funny?
P: Well, I guess we could try that… [MODEL gets pied on either side] You're right! That's much funnier! I don't know why we didn't think of this before!
M: Please… allow me. [takes
pie and pies herself one last time] Slapstick comedy… Strong enough for
a man… [gets pied] But MADE for a woman.