BRANDI'S FIRST SLIME SCENE

[MODEL is wearing a bikini and faces the camera.]

PRODUCER [OC]: So Brandi, how'd you like the first day of shooting?

MODEL: Well, it was a LOT more pies than I anticipated.

P: How many were you anticipating?

M: Less than 300.

P: Oh, yeah. Well, there's always tomorrow.

M: Fantastic. Is there any way you can at least avoid pies during this skit?

P: I will do my best.

M: Excellent! [to camera] Finally, a scene where I can sit back and relax, and not have to worry about getting… [gets slimed] Messy…

M: What is THIS?

P: I'll tell you what it's NOT. It's not pies! Just like you asked!

M: But what's the point of no pies, if you're just going to get me messy with slime… [gets slimed]

P: Different aesthetic.

M: I can't believe I fell for this again.

P: You know, there's still time to clean yourself off.

M: I guess you're right. [looks directly up] Bring on the water! [gets slimed]

M: It's not fair….

P: Sorry, that was my fault. Long shooting day. [MODEL gets watered.] Better?

M: I guess I should just be grateful there's no… [gets pied] Aw, c'mon! You promised me no pies!

P: No, I said I would "do my best." Unfortunately, my best isn't all that great. [gets pied]

M: So you're gonna pie me during this skit too?

P: Looks that way.

M: At least let me have some control over it then.

P: Suit yourself. [He hands MODEL a pie. She pies herself.] How was that?

M: Well, I do feel more in control now. Another one, please? [MODEL pies herself again.]

P: Definitely assertive.

M: Well, thank you! After five hours of having things happen TO me, it's nice to take charge of the situation… [gets slimed] For once…

P: Control is an elusive thing.

M: Sad but true.

P: You still have control over the last line.

M: [sighs] This has been a… [gets pied] Pie In The Face Production. [gets pied] Good night!