NARRATOR: Pies in the face have long been a staple of slapstick comedy. But some of you may be confused about the DIFFERENT types of pies in the face. So let me help you out. First up is the "Unexpected Pie In The Face," which comes… [gets pied]… when you least… expect… it.

N: Next up is the "Pie Interruption," which usually occurs when an actor is reading a line, only to be interrupted by… [gets tapped on shoulder] Yes?? [turns and gets pied] A pie in the face…

N: Okay. One of my favorites is the "Self Pieing." Allow me to demonstrate. [takes up pie and forcibly does the self pieing]

PRODUCER: Can you try that again? I don't think the cameras caught it.

N: Are you KIDDING? [exasperated] Fine! [self-pies again]

P: Yes, actually, I was. But you do the self-pieing very nicely.

N: [annoyed] Thanks. You know, not all pies have to occur while facing the camera. Sometimes you have a "Side Profile Pieing." [turns to the side] Like so… You wouldn't.

P: I would.

N: You couldn't.

P: I could.

N: You shouldn't.

P: I should. [pies NARRATOR]

N: You didn't.

P: I did.

NARRATOR: Well, I hope you enjoyed our presentation. This has been a…. [pie 1]

NARRATOR: This has been a Pie... [pie 2]

NARRATOR: This has been a Pie In The Face…. [pie 3]

NARRATOR: This has been a Pie In The Face production!! [pie 4]